Dancing with the devil

House

2011-03-30T20:47:00.002-05:00

I started the paperwork of buying a house two days ago. I am totally scared....Being single even going through the VA it's daunting. At times I think I am over my head. But at the same time I really want to get my own place. It would mean a lot of change, with me and the three people I currently live with. It's been a long time over due, but it's the unknown, and like everyone change is scary.Of course I'm doing this all ass backwards. Most people find someone, get married, and get a house...NOPE not me. I jump to the house bit first.

More to come.

Pissed!

2010-09-21T20:39:00.002-05:00

I've been busy, the books, the convention, just basic life stuff. There's a place I want to get to, before I'm too old and at times I don't think I'm getting there. Recently I started back looking for a house, a place of my own, someplace I can decided just how I want things. But because of the tenuous situation at home with the people I live with, I have to put off my search again. I really not happy with that, but I think I can hold out until 2011. The other thing that bugged me is a group of my re-connected friends got together travelled to NJ (where I live, and most of them don't) and went to Great Adventure. WTF! They didn't think to invite me or at least call me to see if I wanted to go. WTF!!!! Again these are some of my oldest friends, and we just had a double birthday party for two of them two weeks ago. But none of them thought of me when they visited my state. You have to understand some of these guys NEVER go to NJ, its like the plague to them. So this was big. Now I'm hurt and pissed. WTF!

Hard times....

2009-01-24T22:12:00.000-05:00

I must be missing something. For the economy to recover and grow, it needs people to buy stuff…consume goods, products and services. All businesses are feeling the crunch. So what do they do? Lay workers off. So is someone who just got canned going to spend money? No they will tighten up and spend less, which is the complete opposite of what the economy needs right now. WTF! We are in a vicious circle and business is not helping. This past week my company laid off a bout twelve people statewide, not a lot but in some stores that was three to five people. These are highly trained people who the company has invested countless hours training. Now we have to do more work with less talent in the stores….WTF! My store lost Dominika a very bright, capable part time employee who wanted/ needed a full time position. Then this week my company spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for its annual national sales meeting. Flying thousands of mgrs, paying for hotels, transport and of course, guest speakers. Now granted they had already budgeted for the meeting, but how could you do that after cutting people’s jobs. It isn’t fair; it’s stupid and very counterproductive. There are times business does not make any sense to me.

Thoughts

2008-12-07T01:22:00.001-05:00

Why are we here? I mean out of the known universe the only life to be found is here, a seemingly rare commodity. A gift, some say. We are alone as far as anyone can tell or prove. So I ask you what do we do? Spend too much time struggling to survive by doing things that really don’t mean shit in the long run. We work, play, love and die to what end? So we could be a passing flicker of light out a passing car window? For the majority of us in a few years what will be left of us but dusty records in some outdated data base or hopefully a fond memory in our friends and families minds. I don’t know, I’d always hoped being a adult was more than what’s currently happening, I don’t know what I expected but this doesn’t seem like it. Maybe it was and has always been like this. Maybe this is exactly how it all supposes to be and it is working out according to some grand unseen plan. Maybe I’m just talking shit. I don’t know anymore. That’s the problem with being the smartest animal on the planet we think too much, you don’t see other animals thinking about their place in the sun. They just do what they need to and drive on until their end comes. Maybe being the smartest animal on the planet isn’t the best thing.

Wheelin again (the sequal)

2008-08-19T07:46:00.003-05:00

We (the club) finally got to do some wheeling this past Sunday, it was planned to be a full fun day, wheeling and then go enter a car show. WTF! So we met and had a new member (prospect) show up with his 1987(?) Suzuki Jeep all redone resto with huge mudders. It was a bad ass bitch, he only got stuck once. The rest of our small club soon showed, one full sized Bronco, a 4runner (with SFA), a Jeep, a Montero, and my Blazer. I think our club has a good mix of vehicles. Once assembled we hit the spot hard, tearing thru some nasty mud holes. We were going well until the Bronco over heated… something about the half fan shroud. Fortunately he had a complete one with him so after a little rework we had him back up and running. My Blazer worked fine (still wish I had fuel injectors) the only ongoing problem was the fracking tailgate. It would not stay closed; the remaining factory lock hasp gave out from the pounding. I had to tie it closed. I will now go back to and weld the entire gate closed, I’m tired of trying to get it to work right (especially with the bent tail pan). It was a good outing we even managed to get two trucks stuck at once, the Bronco and the 4runner, matter of fact everyone got stuck eventually except the Suzuki. So after getting all dirty we rolled out and drove down to the car show. It was pretty funny rolling out dirty banged up trucks into the car show full of classic and fast& furious wannabees. Some of their paint jobs cost more than all of our rigs put together. The show was pretty cool; the crowd was very welcoming to us even though many thought we were crazy for treating our vehicles that way. Overall it was a good experience and the best time I’ve had wheeling.

Damage report: My K5 now needs a new tire (it maybe possible to save the blown tire) and a tailgate fix. (Not too bad)

Wheelin FUN!

2008-06-16T07:53:00.003-05:00

Sunday started out with me clear of most commitments, and me with a plan to work on the Blazer. I've been planning and building a off road bumper and tire carrier for my truck. For those who don't know a tire carrier that can hold a 35" tire is expensive and there isn't one available for my K5 Blazer. So I had already ordered the steel and built the bumper, now I only had to remove the old one and mount the new. So of course after struggling withe the rusted bolts I wasted 2 hours removing the bumper. Thirty seconds after removing the bumper Bob calls to tell me that there's a ride today... NOW! Fracking great! Somehow I cleaned up quick and drove the truck over to met Bob and the 4x4 club. After two years of building, restoring and banging my head against it the K5 Blazer was finally going off road! Two long years....

It was a blast, 3 hours of riding thru mud, and standing water, out with nature tearing up the country. When I got in the first thing I see is a late model Bronco sunk up to the doors in a water/mud hole. The group was trying to tow the truck out, unfortunately the driver kept flooring the Bronco while he was being towed. As a result the Bronco slid sideways at a high rate of speed and nearly flipped over. WOW! the driver Dan would have been underwater and in a bad way. As it turns out this would be the scariest moment of the day. We were soon of and riding thru the mud and water of the great state of NJ. My truck surprised me it it held it's own against the other trucks, it stalled alot (carbs do that) but it never got stuck enough that I had to get towed out. I pushed her hard and she proved to be worth all the headaches I've had dealing with her. I even managed to get her airborne a couple of times. I cannot wait to go back out!

Spook'ems one year later....

2008-04-28T15:35:00.002-05:00

One year ago today my family lost our beloved Spook'ems, our feline friend. In that time we have gone on and continued to live our lives as best as we could. We have not tried to replace him, I don't think anyone is really ready for that. We continued to talk about him and enjoy the time we had with him. The lost is still there and so is the love. I've had five cats in my life, never a dog( I don't know why) all of them are dead now, buried in two backyards, thought about as family members. I miss having a pet but I don't think I want to commit to another small friend for some time. Maybe someday, just not right now.

Livin...

2008-03-04T09:06:00.001-05:00

As the new month begins I find myself teetering on the brink of financial disaster. Trying to cover bills, unexpected expenses, and still attempt to save money has my head spinning. Every time I think I’m getting a handle on something unexpected pops up or a ton of bills come in. There are the usually hick ups, but damn everything BUT my salary is going up. Tolls, fares, penalties. There are days I don’t know if I can swing it. I already know once I move I will have to get a second job. My main job pays well, but I’m trying to get out of Credit card debit and car payments. I have to admit since I’ve been doing online banking it’s been a hell of a lot easier. I’m more on top of my finances. But it still seems like a struggle. There is overdue maintenance I have to do to my daily driver, but I can’t afford it right now. I was hoping to save and pay off some X-mas bills, but that hasn’t happened. I know it could always be worst, but I would like it to be just a little bit easier.

Amazing Saturn...

2008-01-15T15:55:00.000-05:00

On the north pole of our 6Th planet Saturn is one the universe's most unique features, a massive formation appearing like a hexagon. It was discovered a 2004/2005 but I only found out about it last night while watching the Universe on cable. I am amazed at this beautiful display and am humbled by it. There are times when we get so wrapped up in our own shit that we miss beauty on display. I thought I would share it with you.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Rotatingsaturnhexagon.gif

True then, true now...

2007-12-05T08:14:00.000-05:00

"Regard your soldiers as your children, and they will follow you into the deepest valleys.Look on them as your own beloved sons, and they will stand by you even unto death!"- Sun Tzu, the Art of War

Two shows to watch!

2007-11-16T07:56:00.000-05:00

Last night my brother in law and I were watching two very funny shows. The Office and It's always Sunny in Philadelphia. Both shows are on the opposite ends of the humor scale, but both were totally genius last night. The Office is totally comfortable in being 100% uncomfortable humor. Most of the time I can't stand cringe humor, but the Office takes it to a new unheard of level. It's a whole new playing field with this show. (Unfortunately last night was the last show because of the writers strike) It's always Sunny in Philadelphia, is more low ball humor, but the execution and the writing makes it kinda special. For me it's just a hot watching the shows characters blast each other and manage to destroy the lives of everyone around the Central characters. If you haven't seen either show, please give the reruns a chance. You won't be sorry.

American Gangster

2007-11-06T08:10:00.000-05:00

I saw it this past Friday, (I had off from work). Normally if you give me a crime movie, I'm in. You give me one with both Denzel and Russel Crowe, I'm sold. The movie is long but you really don't mind, because the story keeps you involved. What I really liked about it was that unlike Scareface ( another favorite of mine) it shows you some of the aftermath of this man's rise to drug lord. I mean the real Frank Lucas is responsible for countless deaths and destruction. But it's funny, you still end up rooting for the bad guy, no matter what he does. It's a hard argument, is it the dealer or society to be blamed, for the drugs. Is the dealer worst that the dirty cops feeding off of him? It's an interesting thought. The real fun of the movie is picking out all of the known actors in the movie. Big names, and very small, Ridley Scott sure packed the movie with a ton of actors and parts. For me all thumbs up for AMERICAN GANGSTER!

Plans...

2007-10-17T15:24:00.000-05:00

With the realisation that I can not afford to run my Internet business, http://www.crushedbymommy.com/ I am looking to do other things. I would like to create another blog, one running parallel with this one. The new one will be a illustrated story I've been working on for years. Currently I have several chapters completed and ready for publishing. I will not spend any more money on self publishing comic books, so this is the next best thing. There is no way I could not do something. So look for the Blog soon, it should be if anything, interesting.

Goodbye sticker company...

Bored...

2007-10-10T15:12:00.000-05:00

I find myself living in a rut. Don't get me wrong, I'm generally happy now, life is good, but there are several things I would love to improve on. And I think it's these missing elements that is making me feel incredibly bored with 98% of everything I do. Figure Monday to Friday I work, which is the best/ safest job I've ever had...BUT everyday is pretty much the same. You know every you live for the weekend. But come Saturday, there are always shopping, or honeydews to accomplish, and before you know it... it's late Sunday, and I've done a ton of driving and really have nothing to show for it (self satisfaction wise). I have fun hanging out with the couple I live with and their precious son WG. I just wish there was more. I have not met anyone new (women) in weeks. There's things I want to do but of course money is tight. Maybe most people live like this and just accept it as normal life, but I don't remember it always being like this. I've gotten to the age where most of my friends have gotten married or have moved away. I use to have a group and we use to hang and live in NYC. Personally I haven't been this bored in years, and it's not like I don't have any interest. Maybe I have too many...

Firefly/ Serenity

2007-09-20T07:08:00.000-05:00

I've been watching one of my new all time favorite TV shows. Unfortunately it's only available via DVDs but I'm happy anyway. The show aired on Fox ( who sucks for cancelling it) a little while ago. I was into it then and I've grown to enjoy it more and more, each time I watch a episode. The show is more that what it appears, some people think "oh it's just a Sci Fi show". Let me tell you that fact has almost nothing to do with it. The show is about the relationships of a group of nine people who are all travelling away from something. To me that's what comes thru when I watch a episode, not the sci fi part, that's just the background. What comes to the forefront is writing, the humor and the interactions of the characters.

Firefly and other shows continue to inspire me to keep writing and drawing and hoping to create something cool and sell able. I would still like to create a book or a comic book series that is on par with the movies and shows I enjoy. But I've noticed that it gets harder as I get older. There has been times I've felt like "giving up" on ART. Currently my sticker company is failing, mostly because of lack of money to invest in the business, especially the printing and promoting. Good luck getting a small business loan, you have to be doing well to qualify for a business loan. If my business was doing $10,000 in sales a month WHY would I need a small business loan????? WTF! Nothing is easy, nothing except doing nothing...

9/11 six years

2007-09-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

On the six anniversary of 9/11 it's hard to believe that so much and so little time has passed. To me growing up in NYC it's a very painful day. The loss of life, the massive destruction, the cold cruel attack, and the feeling of unfinished payback.

The WTC was very special to me. Growing up in NYC the World Trade was like a beacon, no matter where in the city you were all you had to do was look up and get your bearings. Once I moved to Jersey City I still looked forward to taking the Path train into the WTC station. The buildings were more than just steel and glass, they were part of NY, part of home. They were a symbol of New York and of America, they gone like the victims, way too young.

Those stinking hateful ragheads still have not paid enough. I'm sad about a couple of things; 1) they haven't yet replace or built something in place of the WTC. 2) that Bin ***hole is still breathing air. 3) We as a country have become divided and some have forgotten there are people who want to kill us. 4) and of course all those people who died that day and their families who have to struggle on, god bless.

It's a same when I play with my 4 year old nephew he won't know the joy the WTC use to bring to everyone that ever saw them in their glory. I was a child of the cold war, I joined the military because I thought it was necessary, now I worry about him and all of the future generations, who will have to deal with fundamentalist hate for the next several decades. One of the few things I agree with GW is that we will be fighting this war on terror for a very long time. Neither side can surrender or step back.

Sorry for the random thoughts, this is a very hard day for me.

Too much thinking...

2007-08-23T07:11:00.000-05:00

I came to the realization that I have too many interests, and of course not enough time of money to support them all. Drawing is still a major interest ( not a very profitable one go to www crushedbymommy.com). There is also writing, truck restoration, movies, computer games, and working out( which I'm getting back into). It's amazing just what you can get into when you are single. Still it's alittle frustrating, trying to juggle so many things. Currently I've been totally concentrating on the Blazer resto, which has been fun and aggravating at the same time. Since the truck is 22 years old there has been at least several owners before me. Every time I fix something I discover a new unexpected issue. But I think that's what's it's all about. The real problem is that I've invested needed money into it and the sticker company, with not much to show for it. I guess as long as I'm happy, I guess that's all that matters. Currently I'm earning the most money ever but it seems a good 2/3 the time I'm broke. Way too much debits. I might have to get a part time job to pay off some debts. I guess in reality everything I do is meant to make me happy. Currently there are several issues in my life that I am really lacking in and it bothers me. Don't get me wrong I am addressing them, but they haven't turned around yet. So whatever I can do to pass the time while my life adventure continues is all for the common good.

Movies move forward!

2007-08-07T13:20:00.001-05:00

Two of my new "visually pleasing" movies to watch endlessly are 300 and Sin City. Both are masterpieces to watch (I understand they aren't every one's cup of tea). I'm glad directors are pushing the limits of their craft and creating new ways to make movies. I don't care if they aren't shot in real locations or not, in the end both movies have created a unique universe. I'm sure both movies also were cheap to do this way. It's also cool that both are adaptations of Frank Miller's comic books!

In a way it validates a new way of movie making, or at least reinventing a way of making great movies. I recently saw X Men3, what a piece of shit. Just like Fantastic Four how do you make these well known movies WITHOUT their main villains. For X Men Sentinels and for FF Galactius, I know he was in FF2 but as a big stupid CLOUD! WTF! If these directors had taken a lesson from 300 or Sin City they could have created these Icon villains right and pumped up the fan base. Just because they stick a favorite comic book franchise on a movie, it doesn't mean I'm going to pay good money to see it. A cloud!WOW! I would have gone and seen X Men3 if they had fought the Sentinels, it would have been cool and with what's going on in America very, very timely. I don't even want to mention they killed of two main characters ( nobody really dies in movies) X Men3 was a mess. I still can't talk about FF. I hope directors get more innovative with their projects and I pray that 300 and Sin City bring a new direction to the medium!

Wet work 3

2007-06-27T07:04:00.000-05:00

Once again I was shopping in Lowes over the weekend with some friends( I won't got to the HD if I can avoid it). We had just completed our shopping and finished paying for the items. My friend took her son to the bathroom and her husband and I waited by the registers. As we waited I unintentionally slipped into LP (loss prevention) mode. (I've been known to do that from time to time, I've always been heavy into security) Something had caught my eye. I had noticed a customer displaying all of the classic shoplifter moves. I watched him as he turned and headed down a aisle and ripped into the package he was carrying. Old feelings and training pumped me up. When I was a LP for Home Depot I would have had a shoplifting apprehension out of that, I kind of miss the job, there was something cool about it. I guess I enjoy the chase, the predator in me really comes out. I learned when I was a bouncer that I had a sadistic streak in me. So I guess I learned from being a LP I have a hunter steak too.

The job was interesting BUT there are a ton of dangers, some obvious, some not. If you decided, or have a opportunity to become a store detective/asset protection/loss prevention associate. Keep in mind it is not a job for the faint at heart. I was probably the most dangerous job I've ever had. And that's saying alot ; I've been armed security (several times), a Bouncer in NYC (several times), and a US Army Infantry Officer. But all those jobs you have immediate back up or guns or tools of the trade (wink, wink). You don't get to carry weapons as a LP, alot of the time you don't have any back up. It's just you walking up on a person stealing alone. There were times I had to walk up and stop a person for shoplifting while he was with a larger group. You have to be able to read people and decide if they are a threat or not. Even still sometimes you still get it wrong and things go south.

The store I had been working in had been getting hit by a gang of Africans using stolen credit cards to purchase high dollar gift cards.(days before I detected and cancelled $9,000 worth of fraudulent gift card purchases). Jan 03 i was working alone, C my partner was off that day and my supervisor A was out to lunch (not that she could have helped). It was brought to my attention that a customer was purchasing about $800. worth of gift cards using a credit card, with Virginia Drivers license at one of our registers. We had previously alerted the store staff that they need to contact us if someone fitting this profile attempted to buy high dollar gift cards. I went over to check out the purchase with the head cashier. At the register was a African gentleman, 40ish, bald well dressed. I spoke to him and took the ID and credit card from the cashier. After checking the ID I realised that it was fake, and this was going to be a case of credit card fraud. I spoke briefly with the guy and he kept saying" my wife is waiting for me in the car". I told him there was a problem with the card and he should come with me to the office to verify the purchase. The man nodded to me and walked with me further back into the store. We managed to walk pass the Pro Desk when the guy turned and started to punch me. I don't remember how many punches he threw, they either didn't land or hurt. I do remember reaching out and grabbing his coat at the shoulders and twisted him into a judo throw. Later I would learn my throw got him airborne. The fucker landed perfectly in a boxed tub sitting on a heavy push cart. See this I jumped on top of the guy and put my knee right square in his chest pinning him. The fucker continued to fight even as I held him down. I mean I was kneeling down on him, with his head pinned against the push cart handles. That fucker was strong. Here I am wrestling with this prick in the middle of a crowded store, thinking somebody is going to run up and kill me. My store manager Joe came running over and yelled "What's going On!" I managed to say "This bastard's robbing us!" Joe then grabbed the fucker's arm and the three of us continued to wrestle for what felt like hours. Joe's yelling at the Pro Desk to call the cops, and I'm trying to covertly choke the bastard out. Meanwhile he's trying to bite, punch, and kick. Then out of nowhere a customer comes up and places a piece of rug behind the fucker's head. Both Joe and I looked at the customer in pure disbelief, he was concerned that the guy was comfortable. DUH! We continued to struggle until the first Union Police Officers showed up. They came in like the Calvary and I was very happy to see them. As Joe and I stood up and released the guy the cops closed in on him. The guy had balls he jumped up and tried to get away from them. Then the second pair of cops came running in, followed by another pair. The fucker was now fighting with the first set of cops when the rest came crashing in. All of a sudden it was six on one and they took him to the ground. In seconds as much as he tried, it was over.

That arrest became a turning point for me. None of the security jobs, I've had pays enough to put myself at risk. I was done, the pay and the bullshit is not worth the violence and constantly looking over my back that went with the job. The kicker is that no matter how good C and I were at the job, Depot refused to promote us.

In the end I learned alot and proudly and professionally did my job, I wish it ended better but it was not meant to be.

Vacation Dreams

2007-06-07T08:31:00.000-05:00

I have just returned from a vacation that included memorial weekend. Boy it started out pretty good. I had alot of truck related repairs and improvements planned out and was all set to tackle them. The first was stripping and repainting mt daily driver step bars. Unfortunately the bolts on both sides were rusted tight. I knew I had to get a professional involved. So I drove down to Mike's (my mechanic/ friend) who has a shop down on rt9 in Linden. His guy struggled and struggled, finally he snapped one bolt off on both sides of each step bar. Great I had planned to have the entire job done by that afternoon. Anyway once off I had found that both step bars were rusting from the insides. Both had 2 to 3 pounds of rust flakes side out of them when I picked them up. Ruined... four years of Northeast winters had done them in.

Okay with day one main goal sandbagged, I went back to the house and rust proofed my bed box and the replacement wheel well I bought for the Blazer. That kept me occupied for the rest of the day.

The second day I drove up to work (where I keep my project Blazer) and spent the next four hours removing the ratted out carpet and padding on the Blazer. I had alot of fun working on the truck, things are so simple and basic, on the C5 opposed to my 2003 Silverado. I like simple. Unfortunately for me I found new (new to me) rust holes in the Blazer cab bed.

This was of course unplanned and has thrown my restoration project behind schedule. I now have to figure out how to replace and repair not only the tailgate area, but now the center portion of the bed. Ah challenges.

The next day I was at the Blazer again, this time to replace the rusted out wheel well. Removing the old one was pretty easy, just messy. It was also the hottest day of the month 95+. the replacement took three hours and it was very straight forward. In the end I was amazed at how much of the old well was gone.

The replacement however is not a perfect match for the old one so the battery tray and cooler tank won't go back in their original places. I'll have to come up with another fix.

This was how I spent my first three days of my vacation, I hadn't known then that that would be the high point of my vacation, after that their was unexpected family commitments and alot driving. I did get to have dinner with friend from my Bouncer days. So people won't understand working on a 22 year old truck as fun, especially over a vacation week. But for me I've always enjoyed working with my hands, and tinkering with machines. I guess I got it from my dad. My only regret about my last vacation is that I didn't get to spend anymore time with my project.

Good movies!

2007-05-22T15:03:00.000-05:00

Over the past few weeks I was able to see two outstanding movies!

Smoking Aces! A really fun, gun crazy crime movie (I'm always a sucker for this type) loaded with tons of character actors. No play by play here, this isn't a professional review, I'm just a guy. This movie isn't Pulp Fiction or Goodfellas...BUT it deserves a serious look. It's funny, violent and well put together. No it's not Oscar material, but so what, I enjoyed it.

Children of Men! Is a very serious visionary story of a possible future. It's Sci-Fi of course but if you are not turned off by that this was probably the most interesting Sci-Fi movie in years. It reminded me of Blade Runner or Gattaca, it's an very good movie and I wish it luck going into Oscar season. Clive Owen is a very good actor and he needs more work. There are also shots in this movie that are pure genius, Alfonso Cuarón is a amazing director ( I never heard of him before). I highly recommend this movie and will

view it again and again.

WAKE UP AMERICA...WE'RE LOSING IT!

2007-05-16T07:11:00.000-05:00

That's right freedom of speech, slowly but surly we are being more and more censored. The recent crackdown on entertainment radio such as Imus, and Opie & Anthony is just the beginning. I have XM Radio and I enjoy it very much, the openness of it the seemingly endless music tracks so free. It seemed so different than regular commercial radio.

Unfortunately Management has decided to suspend Opie & Anthony to prove they are in control of the show and don't mess with them. I don't understand the logic (business wise). XM is a subscription network, customers pay to listen, some channels like O&A have commercials. XM management decides to flex and suspends O&A, what are their advertisers doing, I wouldn't pay top dollar for ads on O&A and not have O&A on. Currently they are playing Ron & Fez, which at best is third class at best. Those advertiser and the public cannot be happy. XM has also upset the thousands if not millions of fans who like me need their O&A fix for the drive to and from work. I tried to contact XM to tell them as a paying customer I was very unhappy and would like a reduction in my monthly act. But the website is jammed and it won't give you contact numbers. It's just as well, I predict that I will have to close down my subscription once they merge with Sirius, nothing good can come out of that union for the customer. I also can't see O&A coming back in 30 days. I think that's just a ploy to keep the listeners listening and a lame hope the fans will accept another show, in the mean time. That didn't work when Howard left the K-rock network, I stopped listening to the local station until O&A turned up their too.

I understand being upset because someone said something or a show is making fun of your race, gender, or religion. But what happened to just not listening to them, I hate Rush Lemburg and MR.No spin zone but I don't try to have them taken off, I just don't listen to them. And I'll take my advertising dollars eslewhere, and use another merchant. This PC crap is becoming our doom. You can't say what you want, or listen to what you want, soon you won't have any freedoms left. It's sad.

SPOOK'EMS

2007-05-03T13:16:00.000-05:00

This past Saturday morning my family lost a dear friend. Spook'ems was a very unusual cat. He got his name because he would be scared of almost everything, I mean most cats are somewhat high strung, but he was really high strung. If he was concentrating on something, you know how cats get, he would sometimes scare himself and jump three feet in the air. It would be both sad and funny at the same time. I remember when we first got him he was so small, he was in a cage with about six other kittens, most crying, he was just sitting there. I told Eda to stick her finger in to get a reaction, and he playfully bit her. We knew he was the one. Trust me he was the pick of the group. The first night Eda had to hold him all night, he was crying so much. We would spend hours playing what's in the box or chase the string. He soon developed a play toy; "string monster" a gnarled up roll of shipping string. But he loved it, they became close friends for a long while ... until string monster disappeared one day. (we never found it either). Eda use to carry Spook'ems inside her sweater when she went to get the mail or to do laundry, no one would notice him. In Cali we had to fight ear mites, fleas and eventually him going into heat. One of the hardest things I had to do as to take him to the vet and hand him off to the tech so they could have him fixed. He looked at me so, I felt so bad. Spook'ems would lay out in the hot California sun or on top of a black rubber bench in the sun and just cook. A black cat on a black rubber bench in the Socal sun. He would make you sweat just looking at him.

Later in life Spook'ems once spent about two hours making Eda, Kevin and myself laugh so hard chasing after a computer mic. Good that was such a good time. It seemed like he didn't do much and later it might have seemed like he was forgotten but "Boo" meant alot to everyone who knew him. It's been less than a week since he passed away, but I really miss him.

Truck crazy

2007-04-26T13:11:00.000-05:00

I've been obsessed with Trucks for several years now. I've owned a Ford Bronco, GMC Jimmy,a Chevy Suburban, a Chevy Blazer and a Chevy pick up. All in the past ten years. It was always my plan to get a vehicle that I could take off roading and generally enjoy outdoors. The older the simpler, and better. I'm the hands on type, I got that from my dad, and I enjoy fixing and rebuilding things. I've sold or traded all of the trucks except the Blazer and the Pickup. One I use for work the other I'm still trying to work on when I have extra $. The trucks are a definite distraction in my life, especially with my personal life and my budding business. I don't know what it is, I really love that era truck, the blazer, Bronco, and Dodge Ram Charger. Of course my twisted dream is to rebuild a modern version of a Blazer with all new power plant, and gear. NOTHING too computer heavy ( my 2003 Chevy Pickup has to my surprise TEN computers in it) That's scary.... So far I will have to spend close to 3G to get my Blazer where I wanna get it. It's not like it's in bad shape but it is a 1985 model. I should have waited until I finished paying on the pickup before I took on this new hobby. But Fuck it you only have so long on this earth, you have to sometimes indulge yourself.

Keep your pimp hand strong...

2007-04-25T15:15:00.000-05:00

I just like this picture....

Iraq

2007-04-24T07:00:00.000-05:00

This morning the news reported that Nine US Soldiers were killed in a car bomb attack over night in Iraq. I feel for them and their loved ones who have just had their worlds changed forever. I've stated my opinion before about the war and I think it hasn't changed. Currently I'm reading two books; Bob Woodward's State of Denial and Fiasco by Tom Ricks. Both are very good books, almost too good. After awhile you get angry, very angry that our leaders were so arrogant and naive and almost criminal in there intent about this adventure. These people like Chaney, Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz ignored and ran roughshod over any opposition to the war. These men really believed that the generals and area experts were wrong and that invasion of Iraq would be the only hard part. They ignored any evidence that postwar Iraq would be the hardest thing our country had done since the end of WW2. It's sad but I wonder just how bad this adventure will get before it ends. I highly recommend these books regardless of your politics, they are a interesting view into the high levels of our government. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions".

Nothing makes sense anymore...

2007-04-20T15:11:00.000-05:00

NBC showed the VT shooter's video as news, not really concerned that it will fuel copycats. BUT they beeped out the curses...........WTF who are they protecting. This prick killed 32 people.....just how much more could anybody be offended??? Then they whored out the video to other NBC TV shows like Today ( that was going to show unaired footage) and they advertised it like it was a drama.....WTF! These guys will whore out their own mother for a profit. I really should not be suprised but damn this is bad. I normally enjoy the world news, I like to know what's going on in the world. But this past week I've turned it off, I don't need endless "Experts" giving me their veiws of this event. I can do that myself. Thanks.

GWOT

2007-04-18T11:44:00.000-05:00

At one time I was a Army Infantry Officer. It was only part time in the National Guard but to me it was the best job I ever had. To this day anyone who knows me knows that I truly miss serving.
I am not a hawk by any definition, but I believe there are hostile forces out there that we need to confront. One way or another, 9/11 proved that. Unfortunately when we (the U.S.) had global support right after 9/11 our leaders squandered that support way with the invasion into Iraq. To me the war with Iraq was the wrong place, the wrong enemy, and the wrong time. Old Saddam, even though a complete scumbag, wasn't going to do shit to us. We could have left him there for another ten years and we would have been fine. Okay jump ahead four years, we are in Iraq and it's going really fucked up. Our military is doing a fantastic job but they can not do it without the Iraq people support. And the current tread here at home is to cut and run, I thing that is impossible now. If we left Iraq the government would collapse within weeks and the country would splinter and terrorists would have new safe havens plus oil to support new attacks on the west. I pray that somehow we as a country can figure out a plan that will work and that Iraq will stabilize.

I do feel real proud of our service members operating thru out the world, doing the dirty hard work that most people will never hear about. And even though I haven't been in uniform for 13 years I feel a bond to this generation of fighters, to me they are all family. I was a cold war soldier, that was our focus and that was our fight. The soldiers,marines, airmen and sailors of today's military have a tougher job to do against a unforgiving, and determined foe. To all that serve good luck and best wishes.

VT Shootings

2007-04-18T11:23:00.000-05:00

Let me just say that this entry is not about the event per say, it's more about the coverage of it. I understand it was a monumental sad event, the senseless killings of innocent people is always monumental.

But my god the news media is just too much to handle. I've always been critical of the new's true motivations and intentions, and when you are interviewing victims who are in shock just to get ratings it becomes obvious. It's not about getting the facts or telling what happened, it's about filling the 24 hour cycle of coverage. Watching the various teams of reporters in their hastily set up video sets "on location" makes me wonder. These guys what jump into the nearest private jet and get down to the action asap, so they could be the ones who can cover the tragedy first? Next time your watching, just listen to the questions and the answers they get, there is only so much of a story there, but these jackals will hunt out every possible aspect to fill the need. I remember one channel had a "expert" on during the Washington beltway shooter and he went on and on profiling the killer and how sure he was about the shooter. And what happened, he was dead wrong... just about the entire profile was wrong, the age, race, motivation, the only thing I remember he had right was that it was a male shooter. I don't have a problem with experts but sometimes they need to cut back on their arrogance. At some point they're just guessing like everyone else. The news is truly as fickle as we viewer. I really wish the news channels stopped their 24 hour coverage and maybe the feeding frenzy would stop.

Hard path...

2007-04-12T11:17:00.000-05:00

It's funny, the past two weeks I've been going down memory lane. Circa 1983 to 1986. I've been thinking about the days I spent going to hardcore shows (to those who don't know I don't mean porn) and the people I use to know. I called my friend Sean and together we talked about old times. He plugged me into American Hardcore a doc about the scene covering 1980 to 1986. Sean said check it out it's pretty good, also he was in it. I got my hands on a copy and watched it, it was good. Also timely with my current quest to remember my youth in NYC. The funny thing about the film was most of the people involved in the scene, mostly musicians making the scene all stopped dealing with it about the same time as Sean and I. The group we use to hang with started to come apart around 1986, some of us got tired of the constant drinking and I seem to remember a lack of clubs showcasing hardcore shows. Who cares, it was interesting that alot of us moved onto other things. A few are still trying to live the scene in whatever form it still exist. One guy I know is still comparing every hangout he goes to, to the "Park Inn". Another BS Icon from those days. You grow as a human, or you suppose to. But I've noticed afew people I've hung with are stuck in the time period I knew them from. To me it doesn't seem like they have grown any. That's sad. Maybe they're happy, and that's cool. I just don't know.

Wet Work 2

2007-04-10T13:25:00.000-05:00

One time I was working Loss prevention for a Big Box store, I had another adventure. I was walking the store with my partner ( he had way more experience than me, being a former cop). It was a average day and I walked past a aisle that had safety gear in it. There was this dude standing there looking quite normal. But something told me to watch him. Within seconds he started to act alittle nervous (it's amazing just how much people give themselves away). He selected a pair of cargo straps and a pair of safety glasses. He then put the straps inside his pants pockets, package and all. He then removed the glasses from the packaging and put them on his head like sunglasses. Mt partner C saw the same thing and cut over to the next aisle to get to another position. I guess he thought the guy would walk toward the back of the store. But as soon as C was out of sight the guy turned and started to walk toward the front of the store. One thing I learned from this job is that if you are following somebody and you go the wrong direction even for a couple of seconds the person will disappear. Humans walk alot faster than you think. Anyway the guy walks pass me and heads for the exit. He totally doesn't think I'm watching him. I wait until the guy is just at the doorway when I stopped him. I explained what was up and he smiled and handed me the glasses. I told the guy that he had to come with me back to the office to fill out some paperwork (with was true). That was when he started to act a little squirrelly. Within seconds he tried to push right past me. That's when everything went sideways. I grabbed him and pinned his arm behind him, I told him to stop and just calm down. But no this as*wipe decides he can wiggle out. At one point I had his arm bent behind his back almost touching the back of his head. I thought this guy's arm is going to snap. I decided to take him to the ground so I could control him better. Wham! Down we went on the hard concrete and this bastards still struggling. I'm not a small guy but I don't want to hurt this prick. We're rolling on the ground and I look up and see about two dozen customers and employees just standing there staring at us. Finally I got the jerk into handcuffs and stand up ( you don't want to be on the ground too long). I tell the nearest cashier to page C, for backup. I looked down at the guy who has finally given up and notice for the first time that the floor, my legs and the guy was wet... WTF! The fuckin guy pissed his pants! I stood there dreaming of beating the shit out of this asshole. But I didn't I was a good soldier and picked him up and processed him. I didn't even call the cops. I started to think there had to be a better way to make a living.

Hired Goon

2007-04-09T06:54:00.000-05:00

Another profession I had was as a bouner in NYC. I worked in a few clubs and special events. That's what happens if your big and intimidating looking. It's aways amazing I really don't notice just how much I intimidate people, never have. Anyway one club I worked at was out of pure desperation at the time there wasn't alot of work in NYC, other than minimum wage. I wasn't too crazy about the job but it paid the bills. It was alittle dangerous, I had to buy body armor and a heavy maglite flashlight, plus a assortment of "tools". The good thing was the LIMELIGHT was a pretty tame place to work. At the high point I work there we were averaging about six fights a week, mostly kids stuff. Unfortunately there was a drug/ wannabee gangsta group working the club. The first year I was there it was understood not to bother with certain people who sold drugs inside the club. We were told only to break up fights and protect the bars, and club kids.
I tell you I grew up in NYC, went to school there, I even spent two years in Cali. Los Angeles baby. Nothing prepared me for the pure craziness of the Limelight. Drag queens, Ecstasy poppers, strip shows including champagne bottles and Xmas lights, gay homeboys.... I really hated the job, and the danger of the job increased weekly. But I have to say it was continuously funny. Between the bouncers, like Bernard a Jamaican wannabee gigolo to Garcia who I wish I could produce a talk show around.
I also learned about myself. If I think your wrong or have done me wrong I have a sadistic streak in me that will come out if provoked. I also discovered that I was pretty lucky/ or good at fighting. Short story; we were short staffed one night because Neville wells the promoter didn't want to pay for heavy security FOR A HIP HOP SHOW! The limelight almost never put on that type of show, they usually had those shows at the Tunnel. But no he put one together and didn't inform security until minutes before the doors opened. Anyway ODB and his posse showed up and pushed their way thru the ropes. Tye who was outside by himself stepped up and a brawl started. I was upstairs and had no idea that Tye had gotten jumped, at least until a customer walked by and said "that's the biggest fight He'd ever saw". I looked outside and I saw thirty people fighting! I screamed on the radio and ran outside. It mess. I saw a coworker (dressed in black) on the ground with some asshole standing over him trying to punch on him. I kicked him in the side and he dropped, the coworker ( must have been a busboy) got up and took off. The guy I had kicked then grabbed both of my legs and held on. I was about to hit him again when I saw some prick running up with a bottle raised over his head. It seemed like slow motion, all I could do is to try to tuck my head in. Crack! The asshole hit me with the bottle and I went out for a few seconds (I guess). Because all I could remember was waking up with the two bastards over me trying to hit me again. Somehow I managed to keep the first prick between me and the guy with the bottle. It was about this time the rest of the staff showed up. The guy with the bottle took off (This when I got mad) but i had a good grip on the first guy. Another bouncer named Mike B caught the guy with a kick to the nuts and he dropped again, I then started to work that guy like you wouldn't believe. Not my proudest moment. It all ended when the cops finally showed up. In the end only Tye and I had any injuries, and no one ended up going to jail. I kept the incident from my girlfriend for months after that. Like I said the Limelight was a learning experience.

Wet Work

2007-04-06T07:13:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about a former job I've had. (I've had quite a few) But this had to be one of the more dangerous ones I'd had. I was a store detective, a loss prevention agent, whatever you wanted to call it. I basically provided security and prevented shoplifting and employee thief for a BIG BOX chain. At the time I was very desperate, having been trapped in a very dead end job in the rotten underbelly of Newark. So I landed the job at the box store and they realized I would be good at stopping shoplifters based on my background. So I trained for the next three months and learned the extremely difficult profession of loss prevention. Fortunately for me I had a very good teacher. Soon I was sent off to my own store to work it alone. First stupid policy (one of many). There's a reason why most Bouncers work in groups. For security especially in a physical environment numbers count. In the loss prevention field it's even harder, you don't have the overt intimidation factor like bouncing does. Anyway i started to make small cases and my confidence grew and eventually I started to make big cases. Once I detected a group of professionals that had emptied a wet vac out of it's box and started to conceal merch inside it. I can tell you my heart was pumping, I had a spot and they couldn't see me. I just watched them and tried to figure out how was I going to stop five guys at the door. I was able to flag down a dept head that was friendly and had he act as backup. We waited 10 to 15 minutes as the group loaded the box, place it into a cart , tape it up and push the cart thru the store looking for surveillance. They were good, but they were overconfident. The store had be wide open, no one had worked loss prevention there in about a year. The group finally broke up and three walked out. The other two stayed with the cart and got on line to pay. They purchased the "wet vac" for about $48. I let them pay and walk to the doorway when the dept head and I stopped them. I told them we needed to talk about the items in the box. Guy # 1 said "I don't know nothing about what's in the box" PRICELESS. In the end the apprehension was for over $1500. worth of merch. Those bastards had stuffed drill kits and drill points into the box, it weighted 60 lbs. I ended going to a grand jury hearing for that one. In the end both guys were convicted of theft and I don't know if they ever served any time. They were both career criminals so it wasn't a big thing to them. To me it was. I thought it was the beginning of a serious career. More later.

HARDCORE

2007-04-04T07:10:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I discovered just how extensive Wikipedia is (it's my new fascination). I was looking up points of interest and discovered that there was alot of data about the local music scene I was into back in college. The NY Hardcore scene was the extreme version of punkrock. On wikipedia it was like going down old memory lane, bands and friends I had not thought about in years were there. It was amazing, tons of info and links. I would normally have to call up my friend Sean to remember all of these bands and facts but there it was in living black and white.

It sucks getting old.

After working for a few hours I started to reminise some of the old bands and times I use to enjoy. The funny thing is that most current music SUCKS so bad I still listen to most of these albums. I mean the Bad Brains and Suicadal are still my most favorite bands, especially the Brains. I believe the last show that I went to was Suicadal, they played somewhere in NY back in 1995? WTF I need to get out more, unfortunatly most of my friends have moved out of the city (TOO damn expensive.) But it would be nice to get back into seeing live bands playing again. Maybe I'll make some calls this week.

Once again

2007-04-03T07:04:00.000-05:00

Last night like the last dozen or so Monday nights I was watching 24 on Fox. I've enjoyed this show since the begining, and it has gone up and alittle down over the years. BUT since last season it's been amazing. Last night didn't seem like much of a episode but once again the writers threw a couple of suprises and twists in. I'm just a sucker for stories with desparate situations and characters. I guess I've always have been like that. The comicbooks I've written all have that same feature included. It's just cool seeing it being sucessful with it. I know there are truly dedicted people out there doing the dirty, and dangerous jobs to protect us from a hostile world. I guess Jack Bauer is there rep, in TV land. I don't know where this season is taking us but I'm ready and willing to sit back and enjoy the show. Thanks 24!

Good times

2007-03-30T07:08:00.000-05:00

Last night there was a marathon of the Office on NBC... oh my god I haven't laughed that hard in weeks. I can't believe a sitcom could be so funny, all the time. It's that damn uncomfortable humor! That show rules at being uncomfortable. And of course being a mgr in a PC business enviorment just makes it so personal and special to me. If you haven't seen this show, if you been watch American Idol... STOP and give this show a chance. "I'm going to kill Jim Harper"

Hard to miss!

2007-03-28T15:32:00.000-05:00

I don't know how many people watch Battlestar Galactica, but I have to say it's the best show on the air. I know alot of people don't get Sci Fi, but that isn't what it's all about. It's about humans and how we get alog or don't get along. I love stories that put characters thru hardship. This show does a pretty good job at it. The season just ended this past Sunday night and there won't be another one until 2008! Every so often there's a show that you can't step away from ,like a good book. For me it's been, a few Farscape, the Shield, and 24 (all seasons) . Anything with good acting, writting and suspense gets me every time! Frak!

It's just business

2007-03-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

I opened a online store this past Dec. It's a family thing starting businesses. Both of my uncles have had mixed results starting and running their own companies.

I have to say I've enjoyed it so far, it is fun, but also frightening too. I've invested money I don't have to this company and it is going slow. I have plenty designs and soon a new printer to make my stickers. But trying to finance this by myself is hard. Also I have one of my oldest friends finishing my artwork. Nothing would be done if I didn't have his help. Thanks Kevin! I also decided to link the two sites to kind of create a little Internet universe.

So please check us out and I'll keep you folks informed as this adventure progresses.

Time

2007-02-28T15:47:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to enjoy myself and take life in. I'm in a self improvement mode right now, and I would like to be in a happier place by summertime this year. I would like to just generally happier and satisfied with things by then. Lord knows I'm a hell of a lot better that I was just two years ago. But there is always room for improvement. I would like to met someone and settle down. At times I feel left behind, most of my old running boys and friends are married and have kids or are in the works. I can't see myself there yet but right now I don't even have any prospects. That's what ties into the self improvement angle. I really haven't felt good about myself in a long time. Bad jobs, bad situations, and too many assholes around me has taken a toll. Like I said I believe things are picking up.

Death

2007-02-12T15:07:00.000-05:00

This past weekend I had the disturbing experiance of finding out my friend's cat is terminal. I also found out later that my mom's cat died overnight. Both cats are 15 years old, both are pains in the ass, and both are very much loved. My mom's cat "whiskers" was a 20lb monster, he was a very friendly , personable cat who enjoyed getting his belly rubbed. It was painful to be the one to have to recover the body, dig a hole and bury him. But I couldn't let my mother do it, she was a wreck. I'm going to miss that cat he was special, he would look at you like he was reading your mind.

Unfortunatly I don't think my friend's cat is going to last alot longer either. I'm still awaiting to hear from the Vet for the test results.

Man the last month or so has been trouble and tough MENTALLY. Things are coming at everyone I know hard and fast. It hasn't been like this for awhile so I guess we're overdue. That's no comfort.

More stickers coming soon

2007-02-08T16:37:00.000-05:00

Hot off the art table both of these new stickers are at the printer and both will be on sale soon! Full color, 3x5 outdoor vinyl stickers for only $3.00 a pop!

Every thing about Science and Space

2007-01-29T16:35:00.000-05:00

Every thing about Science and Space

Great blog!

TV, movies, good laughs

2007-01-29T13:00:00.000-05:00

Last week I watched one of my favorite movies, Miller's Crossing! For those who don't know, it's a old gangster movie film in the 90's about life in 1920's-30's. It's a very well done movie, created by the Coen Brothers, the script is great and they use alot of 1920's slang. I never get tired of watching this movie, it's done so well and it's funny. I'm always a sucker for a good crime movie. Heat, Scarface, the first two Godfather movies, any of which I get trapped into if I'm channel surfing. If you don't know Miller's Crossing check it out.

Veterans... Show your Pride!

2007-01-26T13:18:00.000-05:00

Veterans. I have started a new sticker company, I'm selling outdoor vinyl military stickers on Ebay. Please check out WWW.stores.ebay.com/crushedbymommy These stickers are just the first that are full color, water/weather proof. We are also offering free shipping within the US! All this for $3.00 each!

Rant and rave

2007-01-25T15:58:00.000-05:00

I love this country, I've travelled to our borders and to the West Indies and I can truly say that I am proud to be an AMERICAN.

Now having said that I am a man of very little patiance (the doctors say I'm kinda special that way). I am truly trying to work on it, but STUPID people really piss me off. I work answering phones, taking orders and problemsolving issues for a wholeseller. The STUPID, questions and statements I hear everyday is unbelievable. I've come to realize that too many people really don't think before they speak or they have thier heads so far up they're asses that they just don't listen. Now I realize that people are people and they maybe utterly stressed when they call me but everyone here is experiancing the same thing.

At another job I learned it takes 10 -12 good experiances to make up for one bad experiance, I firmly believe that. At this point I'll need about 75,000 good customer experiances.

art show NYC

2007-01-24T16:46:00.000-05:00

This was a very cool Art Exbit I went to last Sunday at the Brooklyn Museam. On another site some people had a problem with the art so I wanted to put it up here to see if anyone objected. Enjoy.

random thoughts

2007-01-24T16:29:00.000-05:00

There are a million random thoughts going thru your head as you wait for quiting time. Mind you this is probaly the best job I've ever had but it's still a job. You daydream about doing almost anything else if you were anywhere else but work. The sad fact is even when your not at work (vacation, sick day, lucky) the day goes way too fast, you can waste it so quickly... and then it's gone. There is so much I want to do, adventures to have and not enough time. I have too many hobbies and not enough time or $$ to enjoy them. Everything becomes a trap after a while. Wow that's pretty depressing, especially if no one reads this dribble.

It's all new.

2006-12-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

I only discovered just what a blog is last year. In that time i didn't really dig any further into it to explore just what everyone was doing. But now I've joined the darkside.